I tend to reflect on my life at every birthday. Where am I? How am I doing? How far have I come in the last 10 years? In the last year?
Yes there are areas that I want to address but I don’t know how to yet. 10 years ago this would have driven me crazy with anxiety. These days I take the approach that one day I’ll just know what to do and in the meanwhile don’t worry about it. That doesn’t mean I’m in denial; it just means I’m fine with not knowing the answer right now. To me this is awesome! Anxiety about the future is a true burden.
Since discovering yoga and meeting a few yoga friends, I feel I have had massive self-growth over the past year compared with many other years. Yoga people are just happy, positive, and fun people. Their happiness is genuine and contagious. Meeting these people made me realize just how negative the people in my life were and that I needed to change who I was surrounding myself with. Their influence had been dragging me down! That is not always so easy though… So realizing this I need to figure a way to repel the negative that some people just seem to spew. Any advice on how to do this is indeed welcome!
I have become a lot less anxious, much more positive, and do not have neck and upper back tension pain any longer. I used to experience awful tension pains and would have massage therapy every two weeks which barely helped but seemed like the only thing I could think of to do. To be rid of that pain is such a relief. It does indeed seem quite miraculous.
So as I turn 42 I am no longer concerned with the fact that I am not married and have no kids. I am no longer concerned with being perceived by others as a “loner”, as “definitely an introvert”, or as “too sensitive”. These are my traits and make me who I am and instead of trying to be someone else I am just going to be me and enjoy it. I mean things could be worse right? And who decided that these kinds of traits are not that great anyway? Deciding I am fine as I am, (in fact great!) has brought me a lot of peace and further lowered my level of anxiety.
So here’s to another great year coming to a close and a new one about to start!